


The things they don't see

by njk19



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:07:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15539967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/njk19/pseuds/njk19
Summary: AU. No shadowhunters or anything like that. Just normal everyday lives. Magnus is 25, Alex is 23, Jace is 22, Izzy is 18, Clary is 18, Simon is 18. Jace is adopted by the Lightwoods. It's probably not the best as this is my first one so chill ya beans I will get better





	The things they don't see

It's crazy I don't know how I ended up like this. I  used to think when I was younger I would be a singer my dad, mom, sister and bestfriend clary would be my number one fans. But life seems to have other plans, like screwing me over. Beggining with my dad who committed suicide when I was 15. Only me, mom, Rebecca and family know that he commited suicide. Everyone else thought he had an accident. After that everything fell apart. Starting with mom, she became an alcoholic, then started the verbal abuse a few month after that came the physical abuse. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, i didnt tell anyone. Rebecca left before things got too much, she told me to stay out her life. Clary she got sick of me having to cancel plans, making excuses why she couldn't come over. She couldn't see the black eyes or the bruises and marks that covered my body no one should have to see that. It's been 2 and a half years since I have seen and spoke to her. It's like she disappeared but she only lives around the corner, I know it's for the best but it still fucking hurts. Maybe it's just a sign that this life was just not meant for me. Oh god, I don't know what to do. Fuck. I need to get out of here. I get up out of bed and pick up the first pair of tracksuit bottoms I find and quickly put them on. I check my phone for the time, it's 2am hmm what to do first. Mom, shit I need to check on her to make sure she hasn't fell into the washing machine or something before I do anything. I find her lying in bed clutching a bottle of vodka in one hand and in the other a picture I had never seen before it was of me, Rebecca, mom, dad and clary. Of happier times. It feels like my heart is being ripped out my chest, I shove my fist in my mouth to keep the sobs that's threatening to burst free quiet. How could my dad leave us, it's not fair it kills me more than anything but I can't be angry because fuck I know how hard it is. I feel like I'm dying inside a little more everyday, my heart feels like it's breaking every single god damn day. How am I going to get through this? I take the half full bottle of vodka from mom's hand gently before putting the blanket over. Even in her sleep she still looks like the broken woman she became 3 years ago when our world got turned upside down. I kiss her forehead and whisper 'I love you mom, even after everything that has happened. I hope one day you realise that your so much better than this. I hope you get the chance to be happy again. I love you so much mom but your breaking my heart. Why can't I be enough for you to change. Why can't you love me like you once did. Why do you have to drink, you turn in to this monster I don't even recognise anymore. I... I just want you to know if I could change places with dad I would in a heartbeat' the tears won't stop coming now. I get the fuck out of there before I wake her up. Going down stairs I realise I still have the bottle of vodka, I go into the kitchen over to the sink about to tip it out like I always do it's poison. But for some unknown reason I decide to take a drink. God it's fucking awful. It tastes like utter shit how the hell do people like this crap. Fuck it looks like I'm keeping it, I walk out the front door and I know straight away where I'm going. It takes 20 minutes but I finally arrive at Magnus' loft. He gave me a spare key for whenever I needed to just get away, I never actually told him about anything that goes on or has happened but it's like he just knows anyways. I met Magnus a year ago, when Eric put my name down to sing at pandemonium. We have been friends ever since he's 25, he's like the older brother I never had always looking after me when I need it. I look around his loft shouting his name I get no reply shrugging I put my coat over the sofa then go into the spare room that's always made up for me. Putting justice league on I settle back into bed. It's like a safe haven, the only place I can relax and get out of my own head. I shoot a quick text to Magnus to let him know I'm here as he's either at his nightclub or out with his boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> It might take a while but I will get this done, need to think of ideas to make it better


End file.
